I’m sure you’ve all heard plenty of silly jokes in your time – but have any of those jokes ever mentioned a Barclaycard? I imagine not. It’s a strange question, isn’t it? After all, a credit card doesn’t change. It’s just a small piece of plastic – albeit a powerful and potentially dangerous one at times – and we only use if for one thing. Well, most of us do …
I have a number of very loyal clients who come to my clinic several times a year for colonic treatments. Some of them take a while to get used to the procedure – understandably, they feel nervous and a little on edge if it’s their first treatment, and many of them are in a lot of discomfort so I make it my mission to put them all at ease. Then there are the people who have been coming to me year in, year out and we are so used to each other and the routine of the treatment that we often end up having quite a nice catch up – and a good laugh to boot.
I digress – you’re wondering about the Barclaycard, aren’t you? Well, I had a rather memorable visit from one of my regular female clients recently. This particular lady is very bright, has a great sense of humour and tells a fantastic story. During the treatment, the subject of toilet paper came up and I mentioned that one of my pet hates is going into a toilet and seeing an empty roll on the holder. That’s why I always carry tissues and medicated wipes in my bag, just in case I’m caught out.
My client went on to regale me of an incident she experienced a few years ago whilst on holiday with her husband in Spain. The urge to have a poo sent her from the dinner table in search of the restaurant toilet. She found it and proceeded to have a good, satisfying bowel movement, not realising that the toilet paper had run out until the deed was done and it was too late. In a panic, she looked for something she could improvise with: the cardboard toilet roll holder – there wasn’t one; a tissue that she may have shoved in her trouser pocket – alas, no. The only thing she had in her pocket was … yes, you’ve guessed it – her Barclaycard. The small piece of plastic had to double up as toilet paper. I will leave the rest to your imagination …
She was happy to report that after a thorough washing, her Barclaycard was still able to work.
Oh, and the punchline to the joke ‘When is a Barclaycard not a Barclaycard?’
When it’s a sheet of toilet paper – of course!
Have you ever been caught short by the dreaded empty toilet roll? What’s the most unusual thing you’ve had to improvise with? I’d love to hear about it.
Linda Booth
AKA The Tummy Queen
linda@justfortummies.co.uk
