Not everyone loves Mother’s Day

Mother's Day

No matter what the world tries to tell you, you don’t have to celebrate Mother’s Day.

Whether you plan to spend Mother’s Day with loved ones, or have chosen not to do anything, and you enjoy baking, this lovely cake recipe ticks lots of boxes. It’s gluten-free, dairy-free, contains no refined sugar, and tastes divine! I call it my Mother’s Day cake but it can be eaten on any day of the year.

To those of you who have lost your mums, some very recently making it the first Mother’s Day without them; to those of you whose mums are ill and this will be their last Mother’s Day; to those of you who are mums and are scared that you won’t be here with your children next year; to those who have lost children and babies; to those of you who long to be mums; to those of you who have an estranged or difficult relationship with your mum, you are in my thoughts.

If you don’t want to be reminded then stay off the Internet; turn off your phone, your TV, and your radio; don’t go and visit anyone; or don’t even leave your house if you don’t want to. It’s only one day and tomorrow it won’t be Mother’s Day anymore.

This Mother’s Day, perhaps you can go and find someone whose day you can brighten. For example, if you don’t have a mother to visit, go and visit a mother who doesn’t get visitors. If you don’t have children, help a single mum so she can have a break.

Perhaps there’s another member of your family, or a close friend who you consider has been more of a mother to you. I think we all know someone who exudes ‘mothering’ energy, making you feel cared for and loved.

If you didn’t have the mothering you wanted as a child, it’s not too late to be inspired by or receive actual mothering from role models and mentors. These figures may be found in real-life – a caring therapist, an aunt, a professional mentor, a neighbour, your best girlfriend – or even be fictional or witnessed from afar in the media.

Make a goal to seek out examples of what good mothering looks and feels like to you and to let this mothering energy in and allow it to help meet some of your needs and wants, and for it to inspire your own, ever-evolving journey.

I do think the sentiments around Mother’s Day change with time. For me, my mum is now in her 85th year, and my priority is to ensure she has a lovely day surrounded by her family. She won’t want a lot of fuss, and neither do I. We just want to be together as a family. I was fortunate to have a very happy childhood, feeling contented, secure, and loved, and I will be forever grateful to my mum and dad for this.

Now that I am a grandmother, my mission is to be a good role model to Jessie as she grows up. Her other grandma, Liliia, brings something different to the mix, being Ukrainian, a race with very strong family values. I think we have a good mix of the traditional and the modern, and the values that we pass on to Jessie will help define her behaviour in the various situations she will face throughout life.

I hope that you are able to spend the day with the people you want to, whether they are members of your family, stepparents or children, who have become part of your family at a later stage, or women and mentors who give you mothering energy and who feel like mothers to you.

Whatever you do, and however you choose to spend the day, take care of yourself on this Mother’s Day in whatever way you need or want to.